Calling all units, calling all units. Please be advised that Officer Carrera is reporting a possible 314 in vicinity of Rodbold Avenue. Suspect is classified as a Caucasian male with a thin build and thick cock. Carrera is attempting to apprehend perpetrator and has requested no additional backup. Male appears to be a foreign national and Carrera is remedying the situation – with force if necessary. Hold… Carrera now radioing that she has apprehended the suspect and is restraining him… bodily? Reports are coming in 5×5 that Carrera is now being bent over her cruiser and being fucked with a nightstick. Officer going down on suspect! Cumshots fired! Repeat, facial in progress! Code 80085! All units, report to Officer Carrera’s 20 for immediate clean-up!
